This is the Survivor episode of the season’s power couple, Jon and Jacqueline. Or is it Jacqueline and Jon? Jonqueline? Jacquelon? But wait! It’s men versus women. Or is it women versus men? Menwo? Women? Oh, right. Huh.

Josh and Reed are aligned with a giant brofest that continues to dig into Baylor because she doesn’t do anything around camp (which is kind of sort of true). But that doesn’t work when you’re trying to play Survivor with your fiancé. It sparks a Girl Power moment and that could spell demise for the dudes.

So how does this potential power shift happen? The Reward Challenge divides the tribe into two for a puzzle-cart-tower-release-a-flag challenge. The reward is a tacofest which sounds like a pretty disappointing reward after rotting on a beach for over twenty days. I mean, couldn’t they have thrown in a burrito? The challenge is relatively neck-in-neck until one team pulls ahead and for some reason that team is led by Natalie (how is she still in this game?!). The victorious team wins an inadvisable amount of tacos and sends Jon to Exile Island. That leaves Jacqueline all alone and afraid and susceptible to the murmurings of Baylor and the remaining ladies. Bad move. Oh, and Wes gets a bad case of Taco Belly. I won’t go into detail, so you’re welcome.

Naturally, Jon finds the Immunity Idol based upon a clue handed to him on Exile Island. I’m kind of annoyed at how easy it has become to find an Immunity Idol. There are multiple Idols per game, the clues are so basic that only a true idiot could get it wrong, and “burying” an Immunity Idol means sprinkling it lightly with a dusting of sand.

Anyway, this leaves us with two blah uninteresting do-nothings in charge of the game. Back at camp, Josh starts working on Baylor. He knows that he might be the next to go and she owes him because he saved her last time, or the time before, or maybe a while ago…I can’t seem to remember why Baylor owes Josh anything, and neither does Baylor. When that doesn’t work, Josh switches gears and tries for Jacqueline with the promise of the ever-popular “couples alliance.”

Somehow this all turns into a “gassy alliance” as Jeremy and Baylor’s Mom team up to get the boys to stop burping and farting all over camp. There are accusations of rudeness, we’ve got Keith snipping at Baylor, Baylor’s Mom swiping at Wes, Alec tossing fish at Baylor’s Mom, and how is it Natalie the only mature one in the group? But I’m not going to discuss bodily functions, or the men dissing the women, or anyone’s feelings at all because it’s just so petty. This is a competition for a million dollars, and anyone who tosses their chances in the fire over trivial nonsense is not worth discussing.

The Immunity Challenge is a boring memory game. It gets down to Josh, Baylor’s Mom, Jeremy, and Keith. Baylor’s Mom and Keith are out of the game and it’s between Josh and Jeremy. There’s a statue instead of a temple, and Jeremy wins Immunity.

The old pre-Tribal Council beach scramble puts Baylor and Josh in the crosshairs. It’s a campfire filled with blah blah blah and he-said-she-said, and it’s time to vote. Jon feels confident enough not to waste his Immunity Idol, and the votes are Baylor, Josh, Baylor, Josh, Baylor Josh (booooring) Baylor, Josh, and…Josh. Well, that was bound to happen. He was simultaneously really good and really awful at playing Survivor.

Next week, more couples turn on other couples.

Linda Sue Strong is the founder of entertainment blog and an occasional attorney. Her life has not yet been turned into a reality television show. Follow her at @themisslinda.


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