Let’s face it. If you’re an adventurous person who likes to go out and see exotic places, you’re probably the kind of person who won’t enjoy watching the big game. With all the mountain ranges, oceans, volcanoes, and jungles out there, why would you waste your time in front of a TV watching a bunch of sea birds take on a group of people who… really like being American (I guess?). But if you’re anything like the rest of the social world, you probably accepted an invitation to a friend or relative’s Super Bowl party in light of not wanting to stay home alone binge watching season 3 of Seinfeld. Again. With that said, here’s a quick list of ways to think of football in terms of travel so you can at least think about your passion in the midst of a noisy living room, people discussing how bad their box numbers are, and someone’s drunk uncle.
The fans are a metaphor for the people you meet abroad
Quick question: What do sports stadiums and foreign lands both have? If you said “mostly normal people with some really strange individuals in between,” you’re both right and really good at guessing. Have you ever been in Europe and seen the occasional guy who looked like he just came out of Middle Earth? Have you ever seen an Italian during the Carnivale festival? Keep that in mind the next time you see a football fan with his face painted red, white, and blue or speaking what sounds like Scandinavian.
The coin toss is the last minute travel decision.
It’s your last day in London and you have a plane to catch in just a few hours. Do you go back to see Big Ben one more time or spend a few hours at the Globe Theater? Oooooh the pressure! You’ll just flip a coin for it! You later proceed to watch the Super Bowl on TV and sympathize deeply with the guy who says “heads.” And thus, post-traumatic coin toss stress was born.
The referee represents every traveling complication you ever had. Ever.
It’s been four hours, and the game is still dragging on. Everyone’s voice is hoarse from yelling at the screen and your stomach is bloated from all the football-shaped, Martha Stewart-inspired snacks. And for some reason, you’re still there. You think to yourself, “the game would have ended an hour ago if this guy didn’t keep calling ‘encroachment!'” Suddenly, the guy in black-and-white stripes becomes your worst enemy. His needless bureaucracy keeps delaying what is otherwise a quick and smooth activity. Have you ever forgot your passport in Prague? Evermiss your flight in Hong Kong because you couldn’t read the airport signs? Now you understand the analogy.