Happy Monday, my hardworking brethren! As sucky as it is to be back in the office for another week of mind-numbing clerical work and sporadic emotional breakdowns in the bathroom stall, you can always take solace in the fact that your favorite celebrities are probably somewhere really cool right now, talking to hotter people and eating way better food. Now doesn’t that make you feel better? (image via The Daily Mail)
- Adam Levine arrived in Rio de Janeiro with yet another second-string Victoria’s Secret Angel attached to his wallet. I mean penis. I mean arm.
- Natalie Portman went to Las Vegas to point out why all women should be voting for Obama this November. Spoiler alert: it’s because Republicans don’t like uteri.
- Leonardo DiCaprio looked bloated and old on the set of his new movie in New York City. Sigh… As hard as it is to come to terms with, I think we need to be at peace with the fact that we’ll never get Titanic-era Leo back. We’ve lost him to middle-age spread.
- LeAnn Rimes channeled the devil with her facial expression while performing in San Diego.
- Bar Refaeli proved that hottiness is next to godliness by walking on water in Mykonos, Greece.
- The Duchess of Alba, Spain‘s battiest aristocrat, folded her 86-year-old wrinkles into a bikini and strutted her stuff on Formentera. Okay, so she isn’t technically a celebrity, but she seems fun and has more money than (distant relative?) Jessica Alba, so we thought we’d bend the rules just this once.